The real reason behind why I wear the Niqaab.

Theres this strange concept that many people seem to believe that if a woman wears a niqaab she is now on a separate dimension to the rest of the Muslims, she must be perfect, the epitome of what a Muslim woman should be, she must ooze the fragrance of jannah and if she is any less then ‘why is she even wearing that niqaab?’

When I first decided to wear the niqaab I had people say to me ‘but if you wear niqaab you can never take it off again isn’t that so hard’. I’m sorry I didn’t realise once you decide to wear the niqaab it becomes permanently glued to to your face? Lol

The niqaab is merely a effort made by a Muslim woman to try and improve herself, because “every religion has a (distinct) characteristic and the characteristic of islam is modesty.” (The Prophet saw – ibn maajah).

I didn’t choose to wear the niqaab when I felt I was perfect, far from that rather I wore it because I knew I was weak and in the hopes of improving as much as I could and I’m sure this is the case for every woman who decides to wear the niqaab.

So I am just a girl who loves her faith and is still on a journey in my faith, a journey that will only end upon the day I die.

For some they believe the niqaab is fardh (obligatory – sinful if you don’t wear it) however I don’t follow that opinion. One of the reasons I decided to start wearing the niqaab was because I love wearing makeup, granted even when I do wear it unless I’m going to a party/wedding it’s fairly natural, but nonetheless makeup is still makeup and is most definitely a sin for a woman to wear infront of non mahram.

“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, or their brothers’ sons or their sisters’ sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss”. (Qur’an Surat al-Nur, 24:31).

So I reached a point where I felt like this weakness I had wearing makeup was causing me to commit major sin, and holding me back in my faith so I felt it would be the best decision for me to observe the niqaab, because if I kept waiting for the day I would give up makeup completely I may be waiting a very long time.

What this meant for me is that I could still wear that bit of makeup on the days I felt like wearing makeup when going from A to B knowing that if I’m walking down the road and a man looks upon my face I am not committing a sin. If a sister wears no makeup and goes out and is covered in the correct hijab from what I believe then she is observing the correct modesty to.

So if a woman who wears niqaab, on a day where she is wearing no makeup at all doesn’t wear her niqaab, don’t be alarmed she hasn’t suddenly become a disbelieving woman, she is completely within her right to do so without committing any sin.

And if a woman only wants to wear niqaab only to certain places where she feels fitnah is more rife, don’t be alarmed, because in fact she’s doing something desirable and recommended.

And if a woman who wears niqaab wears her niqaab from her house to the point where she reaches for example a restaurant to eat and takes off her niqaab to eat even if she has some makeup on underneath, don’t be alarmed no she is not a hypocrite but merely a believing woman who is on her own journey and is trying her very best, she could easily just not wear it at all, but is it not better that she cover her face from the 50 men she walked past to reach that restaurant rather than to not wear it at all because of what ‘the people may say’.

The fact that the sister is trying to wear it as much as she can means she is trying a great deal and she is human just like everyone else.

So if you are a sister who wants to wear the niqaab please don’t put so much pressure on yourself that if you wear it, it must be glued to you at all times, if you make it difficult on yourself beyond your coping means you will end up disliking it, but if you let it be something which is purely between you and your Lord and don’t make it so hard on yourself, you will see just how beautiful and wonderful it can be and fall in love with it. Don’t worry for a second what people may say, or what people are expecting from you, you don’t wear it for the people, you and your Lord know your reasons and your struggle.

The niqaab should not be seen as something you do when you reach a certain elevated status, or that you have to have perfected your hijab to wear the niqaab, in today’s time where makeup is such a huge problem for even very practising sisters, the niqaab is an amazing way of trying to overcome that issue even if you only wear it to certain places or certain times, or even if you wear it only on days you feel strong enough to wear it, because it can benefit different sisters in different ways and any means of being able to reduce our sins even for a day for the sake of Allah swt is truly something amazing, and it could make all the difference to your scale of deeds in the hereafter.

The sad fact is a lot of people these days will defend women for wearing hijab in whatever manner they wish to wear it, regardless of how far from the essence of hijab their hijab is, but if a woman wearing niqaab does not fulfil their standards of what they believe wearing a niqaab is then she is less of a believer, and there lays the ultimate lack of education on the niqaab.

So if a woman who wears niqaab takes it off don’t be alarmed it was never glued to her face to begin with lol she wears it when and where she can to the best of her ability for the sake of Allah swt.

May Allah swt make it easy upon every woman to observe the correct form of hijab and modesty Ameen.

Salaamualaikum my lovely sisters have beautiful day and until next time In’sha’allah.

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My first year of motherhood.

Salaamualaikum sisters, mothers, mothers to be and anyone who would just like to hear my experience of my first year in motherhood.

So Alhamdullilah it’s been just over a year now that Allah swt has blessed me with the gift motherhood, there are so many things I have learnt about being a mother and things I have learnt about myself over this past year, and some of those things I plan to share below in’sha’allah.

I want to start by saying that sisters motherhood is your own unique personal experience, so own it! embrace it! and make it yours! After I had given birth to my daughter along with this little bundle of joy came along a bundle of opinions and advice, and yes advice is most certainly needed after having a baby, there are so many things to learn, so many questions we have that mothers before us can help us with, but that does not mean the way another mother does something is the right way for you.

I remember clearly how overwhelmed I felt after having my baby, there were so many different ways, different books, different midwives giving different advice, your mother saying one thing, your mother in law saying another, aunty down the road saying something else and that article online saying something completely different, from breastfeeding, to how your baby should be sleeping, to what or how much your baby should be feeding, to how much your baby should be held and a whole heap more.

For me it’s safe to say I did most things the more unconventional way to what I was told I should be doing, but guess what? The way I did things worked for me, helped me get through those sleepless nights, soothed my baby and me in those moments when we needed it the most and I wouldn’t go back and change it for anything because thats my story, my experience as a mother, and I owned it, embraced it and loved it. Alhamdullilah.

So Let’s start with the topic of Breastfeeding. Oh now this a topic in which I had a lot wanted and unwanted advice thrown at me. All I went in knowing was that I wanted to breastfeed no mater what, I’ve always been the kind of person that can go into something new and learn fast, adapt and make it work for me, so a part of me thought breastfeeding wouldn’t be to difficult for me. However, I was unpleasantly proven wrong to say the least! Getting my daughter to breastfeed was something I found so very difficult, she just would not latch no matter how hard I tried, I tried for hours and hours filled with tears, frustration, pain, being engorged, feeling defeated, feeling emotional, running to around 4 weeks of trying until one day my baby girl latched and continued to latch upon every feed until I was able to say ‘Alhamdullilah mg baby girl breastfeeding!!’ And any mother who has experienced difficulty getting their baby to latch knows just how much relief that moment brings when your baby finally learns to latch, Alhamdullilah.

In that time I had such a mixture of feelings and emotions. I had one side of certain people telling me I’m being silly for wanting to breastfeed her only, I’m making my baby to dependant on me, I’m making my own life difficult for no reason, why not just formula feed her? How will you ever go out if she’s breast-fed only? You will have no social life if she’s breast-fed only! Everyone mix feeds or formula feeds these days! To the other end of feeling like I was a failure if I wasn’t able to breastfeed, that there’s something wrong with me if I’m not able to breastfeed. There were so many times I felt like I would never be able to breastfeed my daughter the way I had always dreamed of and so many times I thought maybe I should just give up, but Alhamdullilah through the mercy of Allah swt, through dua and persistence I kept on going and I eventually just got the hang of it, and breastfeeding became completely second nature to me! Alhamdullilah.

I want to also add here for any sisters worrying that Breastfeeding will mean you won’t have a life, or a social life, from my honest experience I have three things to say on this, firstly breastfeeding solely is only for the first 5 to 6 months of your babies life! Your baby will then in’sha’allah start on solids and will be able to go for much longer spaces of time without needing to breastfeed and the older your baby gets the longer those periods of time without baby needing to breastfeed will be, where you can leave your baby with a family member if it’s time away, or a day out to have some you time you desire.

Secondly, yes it will mean that you won’t be able to leave baby as easily and go out especially more so in the early stages but it’s so worth it, those amazing memories you will create, that special time you will have with your baby, and that feeling knowing that your baby relies on the food your body makes for its sustenance it’s a feeling like no other and without a doubt so very worth it.

And lastly for anyone that personally knows me, knows that even with a fully breastfed baby Alhamdullilah I have a amazing social life, (albeit Alhamdullilah a lot to do with amazing family members who are always happy to babysit and help out) I still see my girlfriends regularly, I still go out and do all the things I enjoy but the only difference is you adapt, do things at different times, schedule your day better, and for those that love you and want to still be around you they will make the effort also to accommodate you, and you them in’sha’allah.

From this I want you sisters to take on that do what works for you! I highly advise breastfeeding if you able to, it is amazingly beneficial for your baby and you, and if your not able to for your own reasons, there are many options such as expressing your breast milk and feeding or formula feeding, or mix feeding, but if your someone that is strongly set on wanting to breastfeed only, even if your struggling and finding it hard, don’t give up!! Keep trying, keep going, and in’sha’allah you will get there! Your not the mother that struggled with this and you won’t be last, and do not forget sister that for every single struggle you feel trying to breastfeed your child it may seem at that moment like a difficulty but if you think of the reward you are accumulating from Allah swt then that struggle is nothing but pure bliss and a mercy to you and a way for you to earn mountains of hasanat in’sha’allah.

Now let’s talk about another hot topic, well actually il be covering two topics here and this one I got even more judgement and disapproving comments over, the debate on whether you let your baby cry them self to sleep and co-sleeping. For me personally I was never able to do the cry it out method, I’m no way strong enough for that.

Which resulted in me being the type of mother who when my baby cries I tend to her straight away and so many times people, family, comments from others have made me feel like I should be ashamed to admit that, as if I’m being a bad mother and spoiling her, not letting her become independent by not being able to let her cry to sleep or for picking her up when she would cry in general, and the fact that I co-sleep with my baby well that just added to all the negative comments even more so.

Let me start by addressing the issue of baby independence, all i have to say is that if my newborn running up to her current age of age one is not ‘independent’ enough, that’s ok with me! Why is ‘independence’ seen as the be end and end all. Our society focuses so much on independence, how much independence a newborn has from its mother how much independence a mother has from her baby and if your both to attached to one another it’s almost seen as a bad thing. I’m not ashamed to say yes I held my baby practically on my chest all night long for the first 3-4 months of her life because it’s the only way she would sleep and the only way I could also get sleep, my daughter suffered from colic and indigestion – yes it’s true breast fed babies can still suffer from it to and it was the thing that soothed her the most and I don’t look back at it with any regret I only look back at how special it was having my child, my baby curled up on my chest heartbeat to heartbeat snuggling in the warmth.

Now co-sleeping, the beautiful topic that people love to make you feel like rubbish about, the amount of times Ive had someone; family or another tell me how bad it was that I co-sleep with my baby is not very few to say the least! I didn’t choose to co-sleep it kind of just happened, like I said earlier, for the first 3-4 months my daughter slept predominately on my chest, or strapped to me in my baby sling, so when her colic passed and she was able to sleep without being on my chest, because I was breastfeeding and she would wakeup for regular feeds having her in the bed with me made my life so much easier, it meant I was able to get a bit more of that much needed sleep, I was so sleep deprived and life doesn’t stop once you have a baby, I still had house work to get on with, cooking for my husband, washing ironing his clothes, keeping the house clean along with the sleep deprivation and having a newborn to look after, being able to sleep next to my baby allowed me to get a better nights sleep rather then having to keep waking up to feed her and pat her back to sleep, she would lay next to me and I would breastfeed her laying down which meant I didn’t have to get up and completely break out of my sleep, and we still do this till today, and not only does it give us both better sleep, but I love it, I love having my warm cuddly baby next to me for cuddles and kisses through the night, I love breastfeeding her to sleep and falling asleep watching her feed, it works for us and I don’t see what the big deal is, why it’s seen as something wrong by so many.

Scientifically breast milk has a substance in it which has a soothing sleep inducing effect on the baby, thus showing me that Allah swt gave women the ability to breastfeed to sleep as a mercy to women, to make our lives a little easier help us both get sleep and at the same time bond with one another, if it works why fix it? In third world countries, poorer countries all women co-sleep it’s the norm, and I don’t see it having a negative effect on children there, all the women i know in my native country co-sleep as its the norm.

People have said to me if you co-sleep your baby wont be able to sleep without you, and whilst yes it will make your baby more dependant and more attached to you, I don’t feel that’s completely true at all, now that my daughter is older I put her to sleep in her cot and when she wakes up for her feed a few hours later, I bring her into my bed and she stays there for the remainder of our sleep, and bare in mind breast-feeding is only for two years if you wish to complete the full term.

‘Mothers may breastfeed their children two complete years for whoever wishes to complete the nursing [period]. Upon the father is the mothers’ provision’ – [Surah Baqarah 2:233].

I do plan to move my daughter into her own bed completely once I stop breastfeeding, and il figure out then what works best for us and how to go about it, there’s no wrong or right way there is just the way that works for you.

Now I suppose what I really want to say and bring from this for you sisters is that I know how it felt when I first had my baby, when I didn’t know what was the right or best thing to do, when I heard so many different opinions and advice, there were so many times I felt like I was doing the wrong thing not because of what came naturally to me but because of how other people made me feel, or how I even made myself feel due to new mum insecurities and feeling like other mums around me are doing it differently to me, it made me feel upset, stressed out, worried that am the only one doing it this way but let me tell you something sisters do yourself a favour, and do not let that worry you or upset you! Do what works best for you! Just because another mother, even if it’s your mother, or another 10 mother seem to be doing things differently from you that doesn’t mean your doing it wrong, you know what works best for you and your baby and no baby is the same, being a new mum can be difficult so you don’t need the added stress of feeling like your doing it wrong because your not!

Get advice, ask other mothers around you when you need to, most of my friends have babies or had babies close to the time I did so it was such a help speaking to other mothers because a lot of the time it was nice knowing I wasn’t the only one dealing with this issue or another, but when it comes down to it, I did what worked for me, and I’m so glad.

When I first had my baby was that worried unsure new mum, but after a year of experiencing motherhood I’m so much more confident, proud of what I’ve achieved and I wouldn’t take back any of the choices I made, because that was my journey and my story to tell of my life as a Muslim mama, how I experienced it, owned it and embraced it!

So embrace it sisters, Jannah lies at the feet of mothers because your journey is an amazing one, your story is an amazing one that you will continue to tell till your old and a grandmother yourself one day if Allah swt wills you to live till then and in’sha’allah with so many more moments and amazing memories to come.

Salaamualaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu!

Until next time my sisters in’sha’allah 💛

The same yet so different.

She sat on her bed with her back pressed up against her soft pillow and her knees pressed up against her chest.
Picking up a bar of her favourite chocolate, her choice of snack whenever she is feeling down but the chocolate didn’t taste as good as it usually does because of how empty she felt inside.
Wandering with an ache so deep in the pit of her stomach why this had to happen to her?
Why does she see women just like her everyday in her situation.
The same yet so different.
They seem so happy.
Like they have everything they could ask for and more, while I sit here unhappy, depressed, unsatisfied and yearning for more.
‘What’s wrong with me?’.
‘What have I done to deserve this?’
‘Why did Allah have to put me through this?’ She asks out loud but there is no response.
Just the deafening silence.

Across the world there is a girl the same yet so different.

She sits with her back pressed up against a hard wall, with her knees pressed up against her cold chest.
Thirsty she swallows her dry spit, her throat feeling coarse and sore.
She to has an ache so deep in the pit of her stomach, but her ache is from the pains of hunger.
She sits and wanders what it must be like for the woman who is just like her the same yet different sitting across the world, on her warm bed with food not only for sustenance but for pleasure.
She wanders how happy that woman must be that God placed her with the comfort of food, water and shelter.
She must be so happy, so satisfied, never needing more.
She places her head against her knees and closes her eyes and asks,
‘O sister of mine across the world I wonder do you think of me as I think of you?’

But there is no response just the deafening silence.

The truth about the Mother in Law

Salaamualaikum sisters I pray you are all having a beautiful day! Today I wanted to talk a little about in laws, a big part of our lives and what things I feel can help your relationship with them, so il get straight into it.

Bismillah.

Don’t sweat the small stuff and even if it seems like big stuff don’t swear that either. You may come across situations where your in laws may be in the wrong, perhaps they have said or done something to upset or offend you, but if you return back at them with bad attitude then Shaitan is the winner. You know the saying kill them with kindness, well even if someone upsets you tell yourself ‘My happiness does not lay with you it lays with my Allah’ and just be good and in return you will see how Allah swt‎ will help you turn that situation around. Don’t forget sisters that even if others do not give us our rights, who is the owner of rights? Allah. Allah swt is the one who will give us our rights if we remain with good character. In’sha’allah.

At times it may seem easier to hold on to bad feelings but it is also the thing which eats us up, it weigh your heart down and affects your imam, but the very act of letting that negativity go is what lightens our heart and in turn makes you feel so much happier in life.

Whether you live or don’t live with your in laws a mother in law undoubtedly plays a big part in your life, and if your mother in law isn’t part of your lives then you should try and keep her part of it, we have the extreme where when a woman got married it was almost like her mother in law was more her husband then her actual husband! Having to ask her permission for everything you do, having to spend your every moment serving her and your in laws, to having to give up your own family to only tend the needs of your in laws that’s one extreme but there is also the other extreme of I owe my mother in law nothing, he is my husbands duty nothing to do with me, I don’t care if I have no relationship with her if I never even speak to her because that’s not my job in Islam, the latter situation has recently been in the rising almost as a response to the previous slave daughter in law role and neither situation is Islamic.

Perhaps your mother in law is unfair and has said or done some harsh things, but try and make excuses for her, think back to when she was newly married it was a very different time, and most women from that generation had very strict expectations to what their role was a wife and daughter in law, perhaps they have been psychology affected by this relationship between daughter in law and mother in law, perhaps she was treated poorly or it was expected of her to do more then was fair, now I’m not saying it’s an excuse for bad behaviour but perhaps it’s a reason, and maybe she needs to be reminded and re-taught that this relationship between mother and daughter in law should be based on kindness, softness and care. Your mother in law is your family, if you think of your husband as family then his mother is also your family and has rights of kinship over you, which means you owe her kindness even if she is not always, you owe her good character, you owe her time whether it be regular phone calls or popping down to visit her for tea, being able to get on with this woman will make your marriage easier and bring a lot of burden off your husbands heart.

I’m sure many of us have had situations where our own mother have upset us but because they are our mother we can easily look past it and by the next day you have forgotten about it, but if your mother in law does or says the exact same thing your mother did it’s something we find very hard to forget, and some people may say well the difference is my mother is my mother, my mother in law is not my mother and she did not give birth to me, and that may be true but she may not have given birth to you but she gave birth to the man you call husband to the man who is half of you and in’sha’allah the man who is or will be the father of your children, so in that sense she plays a big role and is an important woman and wallahi sisters if we can think in this way Allah swt will shower upon you a contentment in your heart you did not realise you could even have.

With every action that we do the way to know if what we’re doing is right or maybe we should be doing more is to ask yourself would I be proud to tell Allah this? Can I gain more reward from my actions? And in’sha’allah that should guide you to make the right choices at the end of the day your reward is with Allah swt, and undoubtedly Allah is watching and aware of all that everyone does.

So who cares if she says a thing here and there which was wrong, if it’s just words ignore it, focus on your bond with your husband, and don’t blame him for anything one in his family has said or done to you, sometimes we can easily attack and let our anger on them forgetting it’s not their fault, speak to your husband voice your feelings in a kind, calm, respectful way but at the same time ignore that comment your mother in law made earlier about your cooking or the comment she made the day before about your hair, it’s just words don’t return with feelings of anger and upset, why bring yourself down because of someone else’s comment? Just turn around and smile or laugh it off.

The tool shaitan uses against us is our own hearts, and as women our hearts can be sensitive and our hearts are our biggest strength or weakness. We need to train our hearts to be strong when needed and soft when needed. The softness and sensitivity of a woman’s heart is what’s beautiful about her but at the same time to much softness and sensitivity can also take that beauty away.

There is nothing more beautiful about a person then a beautiful heart, so if we can spend so much time, effort, money sometimes even pain to make our outside beautiful, then surely we can spend time, effort and a little pain to make our hearts beautiful, and do you know what the most amazing thing is sisters? Is that the person who benefits the most from this is us! Holding onto negative feelings is like holding onto poison and only the one who lets go of it knows the sakina, the peace of letting go of that negativity.

Now I’m not saying it’s easy I’m sure many sisters can relate to feeling of being newly married and feeling so anxious, missing home, feeling down and during this time anything your in laws say to you can reach your heart deeper then it usually would and these effects can be everlasting on your relationships with them. If this has happened to you it is never to late to start again, move on, forgive and forget and if you are about to get married, go into your marriage with this reminder. If Allah swt can forgive us for our mistakes far greater then any mistake a person can do to us, and if Allah swt can be Al-Afu the one who forgives as if the mistake never even occurred and completely wipes it our our books surely us being nothing compared to Allah swt can also be forgiving and forgetting.

The beginning stage of marriage is also a test upon us, when a couple newly gets married Shaitan will try his best to create cracks in the marriage and one of the best ways is to create problems through family members if we can be vigilant and wiser then to fall for this Subhan’allah we will be the ones to benefit. Why let anyone come between the peace and happiness of your marriage? A negative comment remembered and revisited in the mind can consume your heart whereas a negative comment purposefully forgotten can cause you no harm, it really is mind over matter.

Im sure many of you have heard the saying do good and good will come on to you and this could not be closer to the truth, I promise you if you stay patient and continue being good to anyone who has perhaps said or done wrong to you, just keep on doing good and Allah swt will not leave you empty handed in this life or the Akirah. I have seen first hand how goodness can turn even the worst of relationships into something beautiful, so do not give up either sisters, your in laws are your family, good or bad they are still your husbands family, his mother, his sister, his brother, his Aunty these are his family members, don’t just keep distance from them if they have done wrong, you be the better person show them kindness and good character and whether it takes a month, a year or even much longer one day you will see the seeds of your goodness grow into something so beautiful, something you will then look at and think Alhamdullilah how grateful I am that I stayed patient and good.

And lastly make dua, the power of dua is truly something indescribable. Make dua everyday ‘O Allah place love in my heart for my mother in law and for my in laws and place love in their hearts for me, so that you will be pleased with us.’ Allah swt does not turn away the sincere, good person. Love and happiness are blessings and what’s amazing is that it’s in your hands to create it, and a bad start does not define a relationship, work hard, be sincere, be happy and make dua and In’sha’allah you won’t be left empty handed.

Until next time! Salaamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh 💛

The day I got married.

imageTwo years ago today it was the day of my Walima, I had my nikkah done the previous day but had not yet seen my husband, I mean Ofcourse I had seen my husband previously but not since our nikkah was completed. I was anxiously getting ready to leave my house to make my way to my Walima hall to see my husband dressed as a groom and me as his bride for the first time and to leave my parents home for the last time as theirs only.

Subhan’Allah it’s been quite a journey, I have learnt many things about myself, about life, have met new people who have enriched my life, have strengthened bonds with people who were already in my life to the biggest experience of my life, giving birth to my baby girl and If God wills I still have many more things to learn, experience and share but for now I wanted to start by sharing a little something I think we could all do with being reminded by.

For any sisters out there struggling to get married, I know this is something we all know and hear but truly sisters it’s something so beneficial and that is to be patient, to just enjoy the current and try not to worry about the future to much. When I was ready to get married I used to worry and think, who will I end up with?  Will I even find someone?? How will I meet someone? Sometimes forgetting to live in the moment. Allah swt has your spouse and life written for you in a way that is the best of plans, so for now just focus on yourself and being the best version of yourself you can, so when you do start your new journey, you will be at your best state of being In’sha’allah.

Sometimes when looking for a spouse we ask Allah swt to give us the best spouse forgetting to also make dua for Allah swt to make us deserving of the best spouse. It doesn’t matter what mistakes we have made in the past all that matters is who we are now. Often enough we may not be making dua to Allah to make us better, ‘O Allah make me deserving of a good spouse, O Allah beautify my character, O Allah beautify my mannerisms and my intentions’. Marriage is a two way journey and just having the best spouse does not ensure a successful marriage if we aren’t the best we can be ourselves.

I remember before I got married my dad said something to me ‘Heaven is in ones own self and that is where the Hell is to’. Ofcourse heaven and hell is for the hereafter but this statement is speaking more of a spiritual place, sometimes we are the reason for our own happiness or unhappiness, from too many expectations, not enough gratitude to Allah swt, comparing our lives with others (social media is the devils playground for that), focusing on the bad as apose to the good, seeking happiness in places where God did not intend happiness to be found and ignoring the places they are to be found. Life can be beautiful but for that to occur we need to be beautiful and not the kind of beautiful the media, magazines and fashion tells us to be, but the kind of beautiful that can only be felt.

Many people think of the Hadith Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty.” [Sahīh Muslim (911)] as just a physical thing, physical presentation, being well groomed, wearing attar, presenting oneself in nice clothes and so on but is beauty not something far far greater then that, is the poor woman with torn clothes and ungroomed hair who is still greatful to Allah swt and sits in prostration to worship her Lord not beautiful? Is the man who sweats and works hard to support his family not beautiful? Is the sister who adorns herself with beautiful character and tries to please others for the sake of Allah swt not beautiful? Beauty to me is a state of being, Allah is the most beautiful and it is of His nature to Love the beautiful person. So for us married or unmarried sisters whether your looking to get married or already married and wanting to improve our marriage, as much as we want our spouse of future spouse to be beautiful let’s try our best to be deserving of that beauty and I’m sure that will make a big difference to all of our lives In’sha’allah.

On that note have a beautiful day sisters Allah loves beauty so be beautiful!

Until next time Salaamualaikum x